As the old saying goes, crime does not pay, and those who are found guilty should be punished accordingly. Cartographic Sketch is an age-old method to help catch a criminal, but up to this day, police still rely on this method. Crime Sketch is where descriptions from eyewitnesses help create facial composites of a suspect. This method involves the witness specifying everything they remember about the potential criminal while an artist sketches the suspect.
Unfortunately, in some cases, cartographic sketches can be confusing and hilarious at the same time. With the list below, we cannot help but think that many perpetrators are running wild and free because the public is oblivious to how they actually look.
That Fro’ Looks Wild
Looking at this picture makes you wonder how wild witnesses’ mind can go. Have you ever thought what the lovechild of Michael Jackson and Charles Barkley looks like? You are welcome.
The sketch is a perfect real-life combination of the two popular celebrity in the world, Michael Jackson and Charles Barkley. Can you imagine Barkley’s face when he has Jackson’s unkempt hair? Bingo!
One, Two, Three, Say Cheese!
A smile can hide tons of things. Do not let the beguiling smile fool you. Beneath those doe-like eyes and pearly whites lurk the dastardly plans of a criminal mind.
A suspect that can grin like this is a one in a million criminal. Ruthless and menacing. Imagine this man murdering countless victims and then smiling in front of his phone for a selfie. Bone-chilling, right?
Be Amaze with the Kindergarten Cop
Sergeant Terry Jeffords was reprimanded and suspended indefinitely by Captain Raymond Holt of “The 99th Precinct.” Why? It’s because he let his daughter draw the picture on Bring Your Kids to Work Day.
The artist of the crime sketch might have tried doing some kindergarten work of art. The details of the suspect’s facial features are beyond a toddler’s skills but certainly not outside a kindergarten’s talent.
The Stuff of Your Worst Nightmares
You can run. You can hide. You can try anything to free yourself. But, once you gaze into those soulless eyes, there is no escape. Your every waking hour will be haunted forever.
If you think everything can happen when you’re awake, then you’re wrong. Detailed events can lurk in your dreams, particularly your nightmares. Just stare at the picture, and you will know.
The Demise of the Myth, Icarus
The suspect was last seen fleeing the crime scene. A witness saw him flying south with the rest of the flock to escape the frigid winds and biting gales of winter.
How can a mere human get wings? Well, try drawing some bird identifying marks on his face, particularly on his forehead. You’ll get the suspect that you want.
Did You Foresee a Bad Hair Day?
Look! His thinning hair hanging for dear life on his barren scalp leaves much to be desired but his eyeshadow and eyebrows on fleek more than makes up for it.
Is that a man, a woman, or in between? Male pattern baldness is not the only dominant feature on this picture but also the female eyeshadows and eyebrows. Can you help us decipher?
Animé Conquers the World
With their talented pool of animators, you would think the land of the rising sun could come up with a better sketch than this monstrosity. I bet anime fans could relate.
If 3D crime sketches become available, will it look like this animated suspect? Let’s all hope that animation technology won’t ruin crime cartographic.
Baby, Baby, Baby, Oooh!
Hanging out with the wrong set of friends and living life in the fast lane finally caught up with Justin Bieber. Can you see the resemblance? It’s Justin Bieber or his doppelganger.
Back are the days when hoodies are phenomenal, and the Baby song lyrics are carved into everyone’s mind. The artist of this picture might have been a big fan!
Here’s Around the World
Looking at the picture is like looking around the world. Daft Punk was found guilty of crimes against humanity by poisoning the ears of listeners around the world with their music.
Can you see his/her face? We don’t even know the gender of this suspect. The witness should do better at describing so next time the police officers won’t have to look for someone faceless around the world.
Time to Hide your Kids
The leader of the feared Muppet Murderers is finally in custody. The residents of Sesame Street finally feel safe again. Thanks to the best crime artist in town. Your efforts are much appreciated.
The similarities of the picture from left to right are exceptional that the authorities were able to track down the right suspect. But is he really the right criminal? What do you think?
Rockin’ that 1980’s Style
Hey, perp! Make way because the 1980s called. They want their hair and mustache back. The trend of the ’80s is rockin’ on this picture. Tina Turner and Freddy Mercury are turning in their graves.
If someone like him is on the loose, will it be difficult for authorities to catch him? Just look at that spiky hair and a thick mustache. Anyone can easily distinguish this criminal’s defining features.
Alien Invasion in the 20th Century
For naysayers and skeptics out there who think that we are all alone in the universe, here is proof that they have arrived and are now walking among us.
Criminals are from outer space. Extraterrestrial beings are invading the planet Earth. Let us all unite to capture them. Here’s one of their leaders. Put the alien in jail!
He’s Back! Cassius Clay is Back
After seeing his crossed eyes and swollen cheekbones in the mirror, the legendary Cassius Clay decided to hang up the gloves and live a life of crime instead. Can you believe that?
Those prominent cheekbones and distinctive crossed eyes are notably distinguishable in the boxing world. I’m sure that the witness in custody is Cassius Clay’s supporter.
Childhood Memories Are Ruined
The famous Teletubbies have fallen on hard times. They are now fugitives from the law. Po was caught and is in jail now, but Tinky Winky, Dipsy, and Laa-Laa are still at large.
If you’ve watched the favorite TV show “Teletubbies,” you’ll be familiar with this suspect. If you’ve seen one of the Teletubbies, make sure to report them A.S.A.P.
Video Game Hero Turned Bad
Mario finally turned himself in. He was found guilty of stalking Princess Toadstool. He is also charged with invading King Koopa’s castle, but his brother Luigi is still in hiding.
After taking a vacation from being heroes, Mario and Luigi decided to become hitmen. Mario had a conscience and opted to surrender, but Luigi was different. He wanted to stay as a villain.