Kids Say and Do the Funniest (and Most Embarrassing) Things

Listen up, parents! If you think what happens at home, stays at home, you’re sadly mistaken. That daily glass of red wine that you think your kids will mistake for grape juice? Yeah, you’re not fooling them. Oh, and that weight problem you might have? Your kids noticed.

Here are some of the more hilarious things that kids have revealed about their parents at school.

Her Dad Has a Problum

Remember those early elementary exercises where we had to know how to compose complete sentences? Well, this kiddo took it upon him or herself and got a little bit creative…and a little too honest. When answering the question, “Who ate the most at the picnic?” instead of choosing between the mosquitos and the dog, the child wrote, “My dad. He is chubby. He has a problem.”

Source: Dad Patrol

Ouch. The dad probably knows of his weight problem, but does he really need to get strange looks from his kid’s teacher now? Poor guy. But hey, more of a reason to start on that weight loss journey!

From Morning to Night

That moment when your child calls you out on your worst times. It’s easy to forget that those little ones are actually huge sponges and basically soak everything up. Even the details of how you look in the morning and look when you go out.

Source: Dad Patrol

This kid’s mom’s transformation is well documented. From her less than presentable morning self to her “going out look” complete with red lipstick, big eyelashes, and pink high heels. Whether this was meant to be a document or more of a funny twist on a school assignment, this kid has a bright future.

Well That’s Awkward

That’s a pretty large glass of wine for a small person. And she’s also levitating, which means she’s even smaller. But anyways, while many moms need a glass of wine in to unwind after a normal day of being a mother, we can’t fool ourselves by thinking that our kids will think it’s actually grape juice.

Source: Dad Patrol

To this mom’s horror, her child decided to share her love of wine with the entire class. Which can be laughed off, of course. But if that one glass turns to two glasses or more, then I think your kid’s school exercises might just be the least of your worries.

An Ellen Addiction

What stay at home mom doesn’t watch ‘Ellen?’ Here’s another school assignment where the child had to talk about their parents and describe what they do during the day. Most kids would probably write about their mom is in the office or even grocery shopping. But not this, mom.

Source: Dad Patrol

This mom sits around watching Ellen all day, according to her kid. Let’s hope that this is a bit of an exaggeration and that the mom does a little more than just that. Because hey, the dishes aren’t going to do themselves. And I doubt dad will do them when he gets home. Am I right, or am I right?

Her Dad Is Eight

I saved the best for last because this is clearly the funniest one. I think teachers have their young students complete these forms strictly for the purpose of laughing when reading their answers. Really! Take this “My Dad” sheet.

Source: Dad Patrol

First off, this girl thinks that her dad is “8 years old”, his favorite food is beer, and it’s always funny when he farts. And don’t even get me started on how they like to go to the dollar store together. But hey, it’s sweet. And he always feeds her fish!